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ARTICLE - The Good in Group Homes
By Shirley Bahlmann
Some people have the ability to see usefulness in items that others view as junk. Old magazines can make a nifty little end table, discarded plumbing fixtures create a unique lamp, unwanted metal connectors morph into a chess set, and rags have long been popular for braiding into rugs.
Society brands some people as “trash,” evidenced by the term “throwaway kids.” This fairly recent expression describes a child who has been rejected or abandoned. In a lot of cases, emotional rejection can be as damaging as being tossed out onto the street. Put in a desperate situation, many children make choices that they see as necessary for survival but are ultimately unacceptable in society. For example, it’s illegal to steal, even if you’re hungry. Minors are not allowed alcoholic drinks even if that behavior is modeled by adults in their lives. Todd Pay, owner of two Sanpete County group homes for boys, puts it this way, “We all have our different thoughts on the ways things should be. Unfortunately, some of the people’s thoughts are contrary to what the laws are.”
When children under eighteen get in trouble with the law, certain steps are taken. “They try everything possible before the next step, from outpatient care to proctor homes and then a program,” Pay says. “If they can’t make it in a program, then secure care is the next option.”
Sanpete County’s group homes offers the program step to troubled youth. Heather Wright, Executive Director of the Young Women’s Empowerment Center (YWEC) House #1, says, “Ephraim has been a wonderful place to be. We’ve been welcome here. The police department has been so good to come and process through things. That hasn’t been the case with a lot of places.”
Ron Rasmussen, Ephraim City Chief of Police, is a firm believer in the inherent value of humanity. “If you treat people with respect, they’ll return with respect,” Rasmussen says. “We try to show them how important that is. Sometimes it doesn’t work but we try to treat everybody with respect.”
The residents of YWEC are placed through the Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) and receive 24 hour intense supervision as they learn new life skills. “It’s different than what they’re used to,” says Marilyn Jensen, director of YWEC’s House #2. “When they come from no supervision to what we have to do, it’s hard for them. We do skills development so they can learn the things they should have learned prior to coming here so they can become productive citizens.”
Besides the life skills integrated into group home programs, Pay strives toward flexible educational opportunities. “In society we try to put everybody in one category,” Pay says. “We do it in our schools and our daily lives. We all have different ways of learning, different thoughts and beliefs. To try to make everybody learn one thing, I think you lose a few kids that way.” Pay’s program offers family therapy as well as individual counseling. “The therapist teaches both parents and child how to deal with certain issues that they’re struggling with as far as their relationship,” Pay says.
Besides therapy and continuing their education with accredited teachers, group home residents receive hands-on training in various daily living skills such as laundry and other household tasks, handling insurance, banking, managing finances, building credit, getting into college, and finding an apartment. YWEC also bakes their own bread once a week. “Since they have to eat it, they’re learning how to make it really good,” says Wright.
While YWEC is under the jurisdiction of the South Sanpete School District, Pay’s residents receive their education through North Sanpete School District. “Some of the kids have played athletics for the high school like football and basketball and wrestling,” Pay says. “We send staff with them when they go do those things.”
Some people are wary of group home residents without considering what life would be like without the programs that gather these young people in. “We all have a past,” Pay says. “There are so many different family backgrounds, teachings, and lack of teaching in families. Those who get to know these kids see how they’re just normal kids that made a bad decision. A lot of them never return to the system when they go home.” Without the intervention of group homes, it’s most likely that the youths would be locked up in a secure facility without the benefit of a therapeutic environment or any examples of another way to live. This could lead to repeat offenses and a lifetime behind bars.
“If they had family members willing to take responsibility, a lot of them wouldn’t be here,” Wright says. “In the ten years I’ve worked here, I’ve found them mostly to be good kids, just confused. You see a lot of heartache, so it makes you thankful when people decide to keep moving forward. They stay until they figure it out. The girls are really resilient. Our goal is to teach them life skills so they can live a happy, productive life.”
In order to do that, the residents’ time is highly structured. They go on long nature walks which helps prepare them for a week of summer camping. Their Virtue Project has been so successful that one graduate even posts the values on her Facebook page. “They learn how to be caring,” Wright says. “They learn that the world is give and take.”
The Virtue Project consists of 58 values such as honesty, justice, kindness, and consideration. “We work on a specific value every day and write a five page essay,” Jensen says.
Added to lessons are hands-on community service experiences. Pay’s residents help at the county fairground picking up garbage, mowing lawns, and painting bleachers. “We clean highways,” Pay says. “There’s a lot of farmers around that we help with their turkeys.”
YWEC residents are experienced sod layers from working on Ephraim’s Canyon View Park. They plant flowers for Manti City’s Main Street, pull weeds, take care of elderly people’s yards, clean vehicles, serve food and deliver prizes at Lake Hill’s free fishing day, and make cards and goodies for the assisted living center. The residents of House #1 even participated in a community hula demonstration last summer. “We make a lot of blankets for Schreiner’s hospital,” says Wright. “The girls feel really good when they give something back.”
Besides community service, group homes boost the economy by buying supplies at area businesses and providing jobs for local residents. There are entry level positions as well as professionally paid management positions, teachers, and therapists. YWEC even donated $1,000.00 to the Shop with a Cop program.
Christmas holiday at a group home can be bittersweet. “Some of them have places to go,” Wright says, “but there are those who have not one family member.” Wright’s father, Ellis Peterson, takes the residents into the mountains to cut their own Christmas tree. Wright’s mother, Merlene, does a lot of creative things with the girls such as painting. “They did the window decorations,” Wright says, “and they made their own aprons.” The girls also get to participate in the age-old Christmas tradition of caroling. Santa Claus even makes an appearance, perhaps for the first time in the some of the girls’ lives.
At the boys’ home, Pay provides Christmas dinner, “The ones who can’t go home, we do a dinner and invite their families so they can have dinner with their families. We decorate and have Christmas trees.”
Christmas provides a holiday to break up routine, but it doesn’t make everything all better. Pay recalls one young man who sat on a couch and cried for three weeks, refusing to do anything until Pay got him involved in their automotive program, run by a mechanic who helps boys with job placement. The young man left Pay’s program a year ago. “I heard from him today,” Pay says. “He’s working in a gold mine and saving money so he can go to Vegas and get in a band. He’s clean and sober. It’s neat to see that kind of success and know that you have a part in that. It’s worth more than any money you could ever make doing a job.”
The young man’s positive choices resulted in good consequences, a lesson that is hard to learn but important to know. Those who don’t learn it get themselves in negative situations that sometimes require Chief Rasumussen’s assistance. “We try to do it in a way so they can understand we’re trying to help them get back on a positive track so that they can be a contributing part of society,” Rasmussen says. “A lot of times they don’t understand that one day, like all of us, we have to grow up and be accountable for the decisions we make.”
Even if the girls find their new lessons too hard and want to quit, the staff won’t let them. Wright and Jensen have seen many girls who would have been lost without intervention. “The hardest girl I ever had turned out to be one of the most successful,” Jensen says. “We don’t give up on them. I even had one girl call me and say she’s going to medical school.”
In Pay’s program, about 50% of the boys who are old enough decide to go on to college. “A lot of my staff keep contact with kids so they’re an additional support after they leave,” Pay says. “When they call, we help them know how to handle certain situations.”
“The staff and girls become kind of like family” Wright says. “They add us on Facebook. The girls become like sisters.”
Even though a lot of the residents who first come to the group homes are angry and broken, the group home owners credit their staff and the community for helping with lifestyle repairs. “If you don’t quit, you never fail,” Jensen says. The combined support of those unwilling to quit on the throwaway members of society is what polishes them up, mends their hearts, and shapes them with a new outlook to become unique, happy, productive citizens of society.
By Shirley Bahlmann
Some people have the ability to see usefulness in items that others view as junk. Old magazines can make a nifty little end table, discarded plumbing fixtures create a unique lamp, unwanted metal connectors morph into a chess set, and rags have long been popular for braiding into rugs.
Society brands some people as “trash,” evidenced by the term “throwaway kids.” This fairly recent expression describes a child who has been rejected or abandoned. In a lot of cases, emotional rejection can be as damaging as being tossed out onto the street. Put in a desperate situation, many children make choices that they see as necessary for survival but are ultimately unacceptable in society. For example, it’s illegal to steal, even if you’re hungry. Minors are not allowed alcoholic drinks even if that behavior is modeled by adults in their lives. Todd Pay, owner of two Sanpete County group homes for boys, puts it this way, “We all have our different thoughts on the ways things should be. Unfortunately, some of the people’s thoughts are contrary to what the laws are.”
When children under eighteen get in trouble with the law, certain steps are taken. “They try everything possible before the next step, from outpatient care to proctor homes and then a program,” Pay says. “If they can’t make it in a program, then secure care is the next option.”
Sanpete County’s group homes offers the program step to troubled youth. Heather Wright, Executive Director of the Young Women’s Empowerment Center (YWEC) House #1, says, “Ephraim has been a wonderful place to be. We’ve been welcome here. The police department has been so good to come and process through things. That hasn’t been the case with a lot of places.”
Ron Rasmussen, Ephraim City Chief of Police, is a firm believer in the inherent value of humanity. “If you treat people with respect, they’ll return with respect,” Rasmussen says. “We try to show them how important that is. Sometimes it doesn’t work but we try to treat everybody with respect.”
The residents of YWEC are placed through the Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) and receive 24 hour intense supervision as they learn new life skills. “It’s different than what they’re used to,” says Marilyn Jensen, director of YWEC’s House #2. “When they come from no supervision to what we have to do, it’s hard for them. We do skills development so they can learn the things they should have learned prior to coming here so they can become productive citizens.”
Besides the life skills integrated into group home programs, Pay strives toward flexible educational opportunities. “In society we try to put everybody in one category,” Pay says. “We do it in our schools and our daily lives. We all have different ways of learning, different thoughts and beliefs. To try to make everybody learn one thing, I think you lose a few kids that way.” Pay’s program offers family therapy as well as individual counseling. “The therapist teaches both parents and child how to deal with certain issues that they’re struggling with as far as their relationship,” Pay says.
Besides therapy and continuing their education with accredited teachers, group home residents receive hands-on training in various daily living skills such as laundry and other household tasks, handling insurance, banking, managing finances, building credit, getting into college, and finding an apartment. YWEC also bakes their own bread once a week. “Since they have to eat it, they’re learning how to make it really good,” says Wright.
While YWEC is under the jurisdiction of the South Sanpete School District, Pay’s residents receive their education through North Sanpete School District. “Some of the kids have played athletics for the high school like football and basketball and wrestling,” Pay says. “We send staff with them when they go do those things.”
Some people are wary of group home residents without considering what life would be like without the programs that gather these young people in. “We all have a past,” Pay says. “There are so many different family backgrounds, teachings, and lack of teaching in families. Those who get to know these kids see how they’re just normal kids that made a bad decision. A lot of them never return to the system when they go home.” Without the intervention of group homes, it’s most likely that the youths would be locked up in a secure facility without the benefit of a therapeutic environment or any examples of another way to live. This could lead to repeat offenses and a lifetime behind bars.
“If they had family members willing to take responsibility, a lot of them wouldn’t be here,” Wright says. “In the ten years I’ve worked here, I’ve found them mostly to be good kids, just confused. You see a lot of heartache, so it makes you thankful when people decide to keep moving forward. They stay until they figure it out. The girls are really resilient. Our goal is to teach them life skills so they can live a happy, productive life.”
In order to do that, the residents’ time is highly structured. They go on long nature walks which helps prepare them for a week of summer camping. Their Virtue Project has been so successful that one graduate even posts the values on her Facebook page. “They learn how to be caring,” Wright says. “They learn that the world is give and take.”
The Virtue Project consists of 58 values such as honesty, justice, kindness, and consideration. “We work on a specific value every day and write a five page essay,” Jensen says.
Added to lessons are hands-on community service experiences. Pay’s residents help at the county fairground picking up garbage, mowing lawns, and painting bleachers. “We clean highways,” Pay says. “There’s a lot of farmers around that we help with their turkeys.”
YWEC residents are experienced sod layers from working on Ephraim’s Canyon View Park. They plant flowers for Manti City’s Main Street, pull weeds, take care of elderly people’s yards, clean vehicles, serve food and deliver prizes at Lake Hill’s free fishing day, and make cards and goodies for the assisted living center. The residents of House #1 even participated in a community hula demonstration last summer. “We make a lot of blankets for Schreiner’s hospital,” says Wright. “The girls feel really good when they give something back.”
Besides community service, group homes boost the economy by buying supplies at area businesses and providing jobs for local residents. There are entry level positions as well as professionally paid management positions, teachers, and therapists. YWEC even donated $1,000.00 to the Shop with a Cop program.
Christmas holiday at a group home can be bittersweet. “Some of them have places to go,” Wright says, “but there are those who have not one family member.” Wright’s father, Ellis Peterson, takes the residents into the mountains to cut their own Christmas tree. Wright’s mother, Merlene, does a lot of creative things with the girls such as painting. “They did the window decorations,” Wright says, “and they made their own aprons.” The girls also get to participate in the age-old Christmas tradition of caroling. Santa Claus even makes an appearance, perhaps for the first time in the some of the girls’ lives.
At the boys’ home, Pay provides Christmas dinner, “The ones who can’t go home, we do a dinner and invite their families so they can have dinner with their families. We decorate and have Christmas trees.”
Christmas provides a holiday to break up routine, but it doesn’t make everything all better. Pay recalls one young man who sat on a couch and cried for three weeks, refusing to do anything until Pay got him involved in their automotive program, run by a mechanic who helps boys with job placement. The young man left Pay’s program a year ago. “I heard from him today,” Pay says. “He’s working in a gold mine and saving money so he can go to Vegas and get in a band. He’s clean and sober. It’s neat to see that kind of success and know that you have a part in that. It’s worth more than any money you could ever make doing a job.”
The young man’s positive choices resulted in good consequences, a lesson that is hard to learn but important to know. Those who don’t learn it get themselves in negative situations that sometimes require Chief Rasumussen’s assistance. “We try to do it in a way so they can understand we’re trying to help them get back on a positive track so that they can be a contributing part of society,” Rasmussen says. “A lot of times they don’t understand that one day, like all of us, we have to grow up and be accountable for the decisions we make.”
Even if the girls find their new lessons too hard and want to quit, the staff won’t let them. Wright and Jensen have seen many girls who would have been lost without intervention. “The hardest girl I ever had turned out to be one of the most successful,” Jensen says. “We don’t give up on them. I even had one girl call me and say she’s going to medical school.”
In Pay’s program, about 50% of the boys who are old enough decide to go on to college. “A lot of my staff keep contact with kids so they’re an additional support after they leave,” Pay says. “When they call, we help them know how to handle certain situations.”
“The staff and girls become kind of like family” Wright says. “They add us on Facebook. The girls become like sisters.”
Even though a lot of the residents who first come to the group homes are angry and broken, the group home owners credit their staff and the community for helping with lifestyle repairs. “If you don’t quit, you never fail,” Jensen says. The combined support of those unwilling to quit on the throwaway members of society is what polishes them up, mends their hearts, and shapes them with a new outlook to become unique, happy, productive citizens of society.